


church choir

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, Fuckery, Group chat, Honestly What The Fuck Is This, Humor, M/M, References to Alcohol, References to Drugs, chan is too pure he just wanted a church choir group chat, everyone fucks like rabbits except for chan and jisoo, incredibly ooc, jihoon is so done with everything and everyone, jisoo is confused but vaguely pissed off, seungcheol wants to adopt chan, they're just all so horny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-20 21:32:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11929686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: chan just wanted to create a group chat for his church's choir





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is literally the product of me not sleeping at all last night

**Chan** has created: (1) new chat

**Chan** has added: **Jisoo, Seungkwan** and **Hansol**

**Chan** has named the chat: **Church Choir**

**Seungkwan** and **Hansol** have entered the chatroom

**Chan** hey guys!!! it’s chan — this is just so we can keep up with our practices and concerts and such in choir!

 **Hansol** i never thought the day would come where i’d be in a chat called /church choir/… what has my life come to

 **Chan** what do you mean hyung?

 **Seungkwan** ,, chan ,, sweetie ,,

 **Seungkwan** i mean no offence but the whole idea of a group chat .. dedicated to a church choir ..

 **Seungkwan** it’s all just a bit lame ..

 **Hansol** i agree

 **Chan** well, it’s just for us to keep up with the schedule??

**Hansol** has added: **Minghao** and **Jun**

**Minghao** and **Jun** have entered the chatroom

**Chan** hyung ??

 **Minghao** what is this and why is it called church choir

 **Jun** i’m not in any fuckin church choir

 **Chan** hyung …?????

 **Hansol** there. this is to make this group chat funner

 **Seungkwan** funner isn’t a word 

**Hansol** bite me

 **Seungkwan** gladly ;;)

 **Minghao** what exactly is this? who are you people?

 **Hansol** it’s me ming-y

 **Minghao** i know you hansol ,, but who are the others

 **Hansol** well you see ming-y .. this little angel in my church choir 

**Jun** YOU’RE IN CHURCH CHOIR

 **Hansol** ,, besides the point ,, anyway this little angel in my church choir decided to make a group chat and i decided to spice things up a bit

 **Minghao** oh

 **Minghao** how exactly are me  & jun supposed to /spice things up/

 **Hansol** i dunno

 **Hansol** add more ppl we’ll make it a whole fucking cesspool of newcomers

 **Jun** ohohohohoho

 **Chan** hyung … i just wanted this to be a group chat for church choir matters …

 **Hansol** patience, my young grasshopper. soon you will see the real world

**Jun** has added: **Mingyu** and **Wonwoo**

**Mingyu** and **Wonwoo** have entered the chatroom

**Wonwoo** jun what the fuck i was just getting amazing head

 **Mingyu** and i was just giving amazing head

 **Jun** so apparently hansol’s in church choir

 **Wonwoo** WHAT

 **Wonwoo** THAT’S THE FUNNIEST UFCKING SHIT I’VE HEARD ALL DAY

 **Wonwoo** HANSOL

 **Wonwoo** OUR HANSOL

 **Wonwoo** IN CHURCH CHOIR

 **Jun** anyway some kid in the choir made this group chat or smth and now we’re all being added to it to Spruce Things Up™

 **Minghao** i really don’t wanna corrupt a bunch of innocent churchgoers

 **Mingyu** who’s the kid that made this

 **Chan** …

 **Chan** it was me

 **Mingyu** welcome to hell kid

 **Mingyu** ever done ecstasy?

**Wonwoo** has renamed the chat: Welcome To Hell™

**Chan** ecstasy? as in the emotion?

 **Mingyu** ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho

 **Mingyu** i have a lot of things to teach you kid

 **Chan** hansol-hyung … i just wanted a chat for church choir …

 **Hansol** this is church choir channie

 **Hansol** the new and improved church choir

 **Minghao** i have no part in this

**Mingyu** has added: **Soonyoung** and **Jihoon** to the chat

**Soonyoung** and **Jihoon** have entered the chatroom

**Jihoon** the hell is this

 **Hansol** who the hell are jihoon and soonyoung

 **Mingyu** my junkie friends !!

 **Hansol** oh

 **Hansol** welcome to the party 

**Soonyoung** is this for dealing?? because i’m out of coke

 **Seungkwan** hansol babe u’ve created a nightmare

 **Chan** this is a church choir group chat

 **Soonyoung** church choir? so that’s what they’re calling it these days..

 **Jihoon** i repeat: the hell is this

 **Wonwoo** idk who you guys are but i’m mingyu’s bf  & this is a group chat that stemmed from some church choir

 **Jihoon** ??? 

**Jihoon** ok

 **Jihoon** ???

 **Soonyoung** so can i like ,, add anyone i want

 **Hansol** ye

 **Mingyu** ye

 **Wonwoo** ye

**Soonyoung** has added: **Seokmin** to the chat

**Seokmin** has entered the chatroom

**Seokmin** the fuck hoshi

 **Seokmin** i’m at a club

 **Soonyoung** i know seokmin but i couldn’t pass this opportunity up and ur my best bro so i had to add u 

**Seokmin** bro

 **Soonyoung** bro

 **Seokmin** bro what is this tho

 **Hansol** this is a group chat that satan himself birthed

 **Chan** this is a group chat for church choir

 **Seokmin** i don’t even know any of y’all ‘cept for my bro hoshi i’m confused

 **Hansol** i’m hansol. but basically,, just add anyone. i wanna see where this goes

 **Seungkwan** hansol i’m coming over w popcorn we’re gonna watch this go down

 **Hansol** fuck ye boo

**Seokmin** has added: **Seungcheol** and **Jeonghan**

**Seungcheol** and **Jeonghan** have entered the chatroom

**Seungcheol** seokmin tf

 **Jeonghan** i was trying to get my precious beauty sleep seokmin

 **Seokmin** it’s five in the evening

 **Jeonghan** your point??

 **Seokmin** basically my bro’s bro’s bro or smth made a group chat that came from some satanic cult or smth and this is that

 **Seungcheol** i thought we’d talked about this seokmin ,, my cult days are over

 **Minghao** what the actual fuck

 **Wonwoo** ^^

 **Hansol** okay thirteen is the max for a group chat on this stupid app so i guess this is it

 **Seungcheol** what exactly is /this/

 **Hansol** a group chat

 **Seungcheol** no shit

 **Hansol** (:

 **Minghao** are we not going to discuss the cult thing??

 **Seungcheol** it’s in my past…

 **Minghao** isn’t anyone else vaguely terrified

 **Mingyu** nope!!

 **Hansol** anyway let’s introduce ourselves, seeing as only half of us know each other and shit

 **Hansol** i’ll go first, since i was the creator of this masterpiece

 **Chan** but hyung

 **Hansol** quiet young grasshopper. i’m hansol, i like rapping, and my bf is the bootiful seungkwan (love u bb)

 **Seungkwan** (right back @ u bb) ok i’m the bootiful seungkwan and i like music and styling hair

 **Wonwoo** i’m wonwoo and everything in my life is falling apart before my eyes 

**Mingyu** that’s my emo boyfriend

 **Mingyu** i’m mingyu btw

 **Mingyu** i like skateboarding and drugs

 **Jun** i’m jun .. i like to get high .. i also like alcohol (in small amounts)

 **Wonwoo** bullshit

 **Hansol** bullshit

 **Seungkwan** bullshit

 **Mingyu** bullshit

 **Seungcheol** bullshit

 **Jeonghan** babe u don’t even know him

 **Seungcheol** i just wanted to hop on the bandwagon hannie

 **Soonyoung** is this a bad time?

 **Soonyoung** i’m still gonna introduce myself — i’m soonyoung and my girlfriend is named molly :^)

 **Chan** oh, that’s a nice name!

 **Soonyoung** ah, she’s great…

 **Minghao** chan i don’t even know you but you should exit this group chat  & never come back

 **Hansol** stop trying to scare the kid ming-y, this is Real Life™

 **Minghao** fuck you hansol

 **Minghao** anyway i’m minghao  & i’m convinced i’m the only sane one here

 **Chan** what about me?

 **Minghao** you’re too pure to be sane

 **Chan** what does that mean?

 **Minghao** …

 **Seokmin** WELL

 **Seokmin** i dunno who any of you are (‘cept my main bro hoshi, bros 5ever)

 **Seungkwan** who the fuck is hoshi

 **Soonyoung** o that’s my nickname

 **Hansol** sick

 **Seokmin** ANYWAY

 **Seokmin** the name’s seokmin but u can call me dk  & i like bananas

 **Mingyu** like donkey kong?

 **Wonwoo** he even said he likes bananas

 **Seokmin** i mean dk’s short for dick king but donkey kong goes too

 **Seokmin** and when i say bananas, i mean really really /really/ big bananas

 **Seokmin** ;)

 **Hansol** jfc i’ve created a nightmare

 **Seungcheol** hannie i feel left out

 **Jeonghan** then just introduce yourself

 **Seungcheol** ok

 **Seungcheol** i’m seungcheol, my boyfriend’s jeonghan, and i really really hate snorkelling

 **Wonwoo** i sense a backstory…

 **Seungcheol** back in my day

 **Jeonghan** you’re twenty you twat 

**Seungcheol** /back in my day/ i went snorkelling as a kid and a fish bit my toe

 **Seungcheol** i’ll never do it again

 **Wonwoo** that was anticlimactic

 **Mingyu** agreed

 **Jeonghan** i’m jeonghan  & that’s my stupid boyfriend seungcheol, i like pedicures and scalp massages

 **Seungkwan** omg we should do manis and pedis together!!

 **Jeonghan** omg yes!!

 **Wonwoo** what the actual fuck are you guys doing if you’re getting a pet manis and going to see a pediatrician together 

**Mingyu** what the hell is a pet manis

 **Wonwoo** babe they’re these terrifying animals that are covered in scales and could probably eat you if they tried

 **Wonwoo** but dw babe i’ll be there to save you if a manis comes around

 **Mingyu** love u babe

 **Wonwoo** love u too

 **Wonwoo** wanna keep giving me head

 **Mingyu** fuck ye

**Mingyu** has gone offline

**Hansol** ,,,

 **Hansol** anyway 

**Hansol** is there anyone left??

 **Chan** um… me, i guess

 **Chan** i’m chan and i really just wanted this to be a church choir group chat

 **Seungcheol** he’s so pure hannie can we adopt him

 **Jeonghan** sure

 **Chan** i have parents

 **Seungcheol** we can get rid of ‘em kid :)

 **Seungcheol** my cult days haven’t left me that much

 **Minghao** okay honestly am i the only one terrified from the cult shit??

 **Hansol** wait that’s like eleven people

 **Minghao** ignored ,, again 

**Hansol** two people haven’t introduced themselves

 **Hansol** reveal yourselves 

**Jihoon** …

 **Jihoon** guess that’s my call

 **Jihoon** i’m jihoon and honestly i dunno why i’m here

 **Jihoon** i know seokmin but all we do is smoke weed sometimes

 **Seokmin** jihoon…

 **Seokmin** we smoke weed and /bond/ dude

 **Jihoon** ,, sure 

**Jihoon** but i like music

 **Hansol** aye!! a fellow music nerd

 **Seungkwan** !!!

 **Jihoon** :)

 **Hansol** there’s still one left who tf is it

 **Chan** it’s jisoo-hyung hyung

 **Hansol** o shit jisoo

 **Hansol** forgot he existed for a second there

 **Hansol** anyway he’s not here so

**Jisoo** has entered the chatroom

**Seungkwan** speak of the devil  & he shall appear

 **Jisoo** What is this?

 **Chan** hyung … it was supposed to be a church choir group chat, like you suggested …

 **Chan** but hansol uh, hansol did something

 **Jisoo** Hansol, what the fuck?

 **Seungkwan** you can swear??

 **Seungkwan** i always thought that your mouth was incapable of forming curse words

 **Jisoo** In appropriate situations, yes, I swear. And this is an appropriate situation, so I repeat — Hansol, what the fuck?

 **Hansol** :^)

**Hansol** has gone offline

**Mingyu** has entered the chatroom

**Jisoo** What a fucker.

 **Soonyoung** who r u

 **Jisoo** Who are /you/?

 **Soonyoung** asked first

 **Jisoo** I’m Hong Jisoo, the leader of the church choir.

 **Soonyoung** o mingyu ur back from sucking dick

 **Mingyu** mm the taste of balls in my mouth is something i’ll never get tired of

 **Mingyu** especially when they’re ur balls wonwoo ;))

 **Wonwoo** <3 

**Mingyu** anyway couldn’t help but notice that there’s the leader of the church choir here

 **Jisoo** Yes, hello, that’s me.

 **Mingyu** i just got one question man

 **Mingyu** do you have a jesus kink?

 **Jihoon** and for once i thought he would say something intelligent

 **Jihoon** guess i was wrong 

**Jisoo** No?

 **Mingyu** chill bc i knew a guy once that did

 **Mingyu** he was also the leader of a church choir

 **Mingyu** or maybe it was smth else

 **Seungcheol** you mean min yoongi??

 **Mingyu** yeah tf how do you know that guy

 **Seungcheol** he wasn’t the leader of a church choir,,

 **Seungcheol** he’s the leader of a satanic cult, same one i was in 

**Mingyu** o yeah i met him when i shot up heroin

 **Mingyu** that was an adventure

 **Minghao** i am honest-to-god terrified

 **Minghao** jisoo idk who u are but u seem to be some sort of priest or smth help me out

 **Jisoo** …

**Hansol** has entered the chatroom

**Hansol** i’m back

 **Jun** you were gone for two seconds hansol 

**Hansol** well two seconds is more than nothing

 **Jun** tru 

**Soonyoung** shouldn’t we all have nicknames or something ?? first names are so fucking boring

 **Hansol** ye that seems like a good idea

 **Seungkwan** ^^ agree with u bb 

**Mingyu** agree first names suck

 **Wonwoo** agree

 **Seokmin** agree

 **Seungcheol** agree

 **Jeonghan** agree

 **Jun** agree

 **Jihoon** agree

 **Minghao** agree

 **Chan** even i agree

 **Jisoo** What’s wrong with first names?

 **Jun** first names, man … first names are just a way to hide our true selves …

 **Jisoo** They are the names we were born with, they /are/ our true selves.

 **Jun** fuck off i was trying to be deep

 **Jun** anyway i’m going to be sick skateboard trick dude

 **Hansol** that’s too long jun pick another one

 **Jun** fine

**Jun** has changed his screen name to **junhigh**

****

**junhigh** there

 **Seokmin** dude that’s not even a pun or anything 

**junhigh** i mean my name’s junhui

 **junhigh** junhui, junhigh

 **Seokmin** still lame

 **junhigh** fuck you i’m just a stoner trying to live

 **Hansol** someone give me a great rapper

 **Soonyoung** m &ms

 **Hansol** … okay.

**Hansol** has changed his screen name to **eminem**

**Soonyoung** oh i thought you meant candy wrappers

 **Soonyoung** but yeah eminem works too

 **Jihoon** eminem is a piece of shit

 **Seungkwan** babe i actually agree

 **eminem** if i die fuck it i wanna go to hell… ‘cause i’m a piece of shit it ain’t hard to fucking tell…

 **Jeonghan** that’s not even eminem that’s biggie what the hell

 **Seungcheol** hannie you know hip-hop music??

 **Jeonghan** i’m full of surprises bb

 **Seungcheol** anyway someone give me a nickname

 **Mingyu** seungsoul

 **Wonwoo** your mom

 **Seokmin** harry styles’s third nipple

 **Hansol** seokmin what the fuck

 **Seokmin** :)

 **Soonyoung** sebastian

 **Seungcheol** sebastian??

 **Soonyoung** u look like sebastian from black butler

 **Minghao** ANOTHER WEEB

 **Soonyoung** !!!

 **Hansol** you guys are making me cringe so much right now you have no idea please stop

 **Jeonghan** just go by daddy cheol

 **Jeonghan** bc you’ll always be my daddy : )

 **Seungkwan** oh my god that’s so openly kinky hansol we need to get on their level

 **Hansol** on it babygirl

 **Seungkwan** fuck ye

**Seungcheol** has changed his screen name to **daddy cheol**

**daddy cheol** ok jeonghan u gotta be angelcake because u look like an angel but u got cake

 **Jeonghan** are you insulting my ass??

 **daddy cheol** i mean u got cake literally hannie

 **daddy cheol** you brought me strawberry cheesecake yesterday

 **daddy cheol** tho you do got a great ass 

**Jeonghan** love u

**Jeonghan** has changed his screen name to **angelcake**

**eminem** has changed **Minghao’s** screen name to **weeb trash**

**weeb trash** fuck u hansol

 **eminem** love u ming-y :^)

 **Seungkwan** babe what should i be

 **eminem** tyra banks

 **Seungkwan** what the fuck hansol

 **eminem** because you … always wanna be on top

 **Seungkwan** jfjjfjfjfjfjfjfj you’re an idiot

 **Seungkwan** have u never heard of a powerbottom

**Seungkwan** has changed his screen name to **tyra banks**

**Soonyoung** has changed his screen name to **red bull**

**daddy cheol** ?

 **angelcake** ?

 **eminem** ?

 **tyra banks** ?

 **junhigh** ?

 **Mingyu** ?

 **Wonwoo** ?

 **red bull** i just really love red bull

 **Seokmin** it’s understandable

**Seokmin** has changed his screen name to **Dick King**

**Dick King** now my true persona can live on through this group chat

 **red bull** bro your dick /is/ king tho i’ve seen it

 **red bull** no homo tho bro

 **Dick King** no homo but i love u bro

 **red bull** no homo but i love u too bro

 **daddy cheol** are you guys a couple or ??

 **Dick King** just a couple bros trying to fuck and not have it be a big deal

 **daddy cheol** so you are a couple

 **angelcake** it’s the new-age cheollie they’re just fucking

 **tyra banks** i’m calling u guys the fuckbuddies from now on

 **Dick King** bro i like that name

 **red bull** bro me too

**Dick King** has changed his screen name to **fuckbuddy 1**

**red bull** has changed his screen name to **fuckbuddy 2**

**fuckbuddy 2** bro we’re like thing 1 and thing 2 from that kids book

 **fuckbuddy 1** bro ur right

 **Chan** are you guys talking about the cat and the hat? i love that book!!

 **daddy cheol** he’s so pure hannie i really want to adopt him

 **angelcake** in time love

**eminem** has changed Chan’s screen name to **dr seuss**

**dr seuss** oh i like that!!

 **eminem** anything for u channie

**Jihoon** has changed his screen name to **fuck this why am i here**

**Mingyu** jihoon ur here bc we’re stoner buddies for life

 **fuck this why am i here** mingyu i didn’t smoke weed w you one time to get roped into something like this

 **Wonwoo** don’t patronise my bf

**eminem** has changed **Wonwoo’s** screen name to **overprotective bf**

**overprotective bf** thanks hansol

 **eminem** see, i’m the master of nicknames

 **Mingyu** who am i then

**weeb trash** has changed **Mingyu’s** screen name to **junkie trash**

**weeb trash** :^)

 **overprotective bf** watch urself minghao 

**overprotective bf** i know ur weaknesses

 **weeb trash** :^)

 **daddy cheol** so do we all have nicknames now??

 **Jisoo** I don’t believe that I have one yet, though I fail to see the point in having one in the first place.

**daddy cheol** has changed **Jisoo’s** screen name to **nonbeliever**

**nonbeliever** I find that particularly offensive, I’m the biggest believer that there is here.

 **junhigh** but u don’t believe in the flow, man

 **eminem** jun what the fuck is the flow

 **junhigh** it’s the flow, man

 **tyra banks** i think he’s high rn

 **weeb trash** he is. i’m sitting in his room.

 **eminem** ;;;;;;;;;))))))))

 **tyra banks** ;;;;;;;))))))))))))))

 **overprotective bf** ((((((((((;;;;;;;;;;

 **junkie trash** ooh la la 

**weeb trash** fuck you all.

 **fuck this why am i here** i relate to you, weeb trash.

 **weeb trash** finally … somebody 

**dr seuss** i have to go to bed, it was nice talking to you all, though!!

 **dr seuss** i guess we’ll talk tomorrow?

 **tyra banks** what the hell chan it’s seven pm

 **dr seuss** ???

 **dr seuss** that’s when i go to bed ??

 **eminem** oh my god someone go to his house  & keep him awake

 **daddy cheol** let the baby go to bed

 **angelcake** i agree

 **dr seuss** :) talk to you guys later!

**dr seuss** has gone offline

**fuckbuddy 1** i gotta go too me n bro are hanging

 **tyra banks** fucking?

 **fuckbuddy 1** u know it

 **fuckbuddy 2** talk to y’all later

**fuckbuddy 1** and **fuckbuddy 2** have gone offline

**overprotective bf** me n mingyu’ve gotta go too

 **overprotective bf** shit’s about to get kinky in this bedroom

**overprotective bf** and **junkie trash** have gone offline

**tyra banks** babe why can’t we have sex like mingyu and wonwoo

 **eminem** your wish is my command boo

**eminem** and **tyra banks** have gone offline

**daddy cheol** well hannie

 **daddy cheol** you know what this means

 **angelcake** yes daddy

**daddy cheol** and **angelcake** have gone offline

**weeb trash** why is everyone leaving to have sex

 **junhigh** dude…

 **weeb trash** why do you have a boner 

**junhigh** put your mouth on it dude

**weeb trash** and **junhigh** have gone offline

**fuck this why am i here** …

 **fuck this why am i here** i’m going to go get drunk

**fuck this why am i here** has gone offline

**nonbeliever** What have I gotten myself into.

**nonbeliever** has gone offline


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what this is anymore but i hope u guys enjoy

**dr seuss** has entered the chatroom

**dr seuss** good morning everyone!! 

**daddy cheol, angelcake, tyra banks, eminem** and **fuck this why am i here** have entered the chatroom

**fuck this why am i here** i was kind of hoping this entire group chat had been a dream 

**eminem** think again motherfucker :) 

**daddy cheol** good morning chan!! 

**angelcake** it’s seven in the morning who wakes up at this time 

**angelcake** i need my beauty rest 

**daddy cheol** after last night you definitely do (((((; 

**tyra banks** did things get kinky over there 

**tyra banks** because they did over here too 

**eminem** we are all proud kink-enthusiasts 

**dr seuss** hyung?? 

**daddy cheol** yes? 

**eminem** yes? 

**eminem** fuck off seungcheol i’m his o.g. hyung 

**daddy cheol** i’m more of a hyung than you could ever be 

**eminem** wanna have a hyung-off?? 

**angelcake** seungcheol sweetie it’s too early to fight 

**angelcake** maybe later in the day when i’m not so worn out 

**eminem** who said anything abt you fighting jeonghan ?? 

**angelcake** oh no i would never fight 

**angelcake** can’t risk this beautiful face 

**angelcake** but i just find it really hot when cheollie is angry :) 

**tyra banks** god they’re such a power couple hansol i love it 

**tyra banks** so openly kinky 

**tyra banks** this is my dream 

**eminem** i thought you wanted to be a pop star

**tyra banks** stardom can wait 

**dr seuss** seungcheol-hyung? 

**daddy cheol** HAH in your face hansol 

**daddy cheol** but yes chan? 

**dr seuss** … 

**dr seuss** what’s a kink? 

**tyra banks** /oh my god/ 

**tyra banks** seungcheol you’re like a dad 

**tyra banks** you’ve gotta give him the Talk™ 

**daddy cheol** a kink, dearest chan, is one of the greatest ideas that’s ever come out of sex 

**daddy cheol** that is all you need to know 

**dr seuss** … okay? 

**fuckbuddy 1** and **fuckbuddy 2** have entered the chatroom

**fuckbuddy 1** bro that was a great fuck last night 

**fuckbuddy 2** bro i agree 

**eminem** good morning u two 

**eminem** seems like everyone here’s been having p good sex 

**junhigh** and **weeb trash** have entered the chatroom

**weeb trash** jun ,, 

**weeb trash** i love u man 

**weeb trash** but that was some of the worst sex i’ve ever had 

**eminem** i spoke too soon 

**junhigh** i was stoned man 

**junhigh** cut me some slack, my dick wasn’t working properly 

**fuckbuddy 1** how can a dick not work properly?? 

**fuckbuddy 1** mine’s always up and at ‘em no matter what time of the day 

**fuckbuddy 2** bro that’s because you got a monster dick 

**fuckbuddy 1** bro i love you 

**fuckbuddy 2** bro i love you too 

**fuckbuddy 1** no homo 

**fuckbuddy 2** no homo 

**daddy cheol** that has got to be one of the weirdest relationships i’ve ever seen in my life 

**angelcake** don’t judge the new generations cheollie 

**angelcake** they’re trying their best 

**tyra banks** how old are you guys anyway ?? you act like fucking grandpas 

**daddy cheol** i’m twenty  & hannie is nineteen, soon to hit the big 2 0 

**tyra banks** shit a whole three years ahead of me 

**dr seuss** wow you guys are four years older than me!! 

**weeb trash** so small 

**daddy cheol** hannie why can’t we adopt him already 

**angelcake** patience cheollie 

**junkie trash** and **overprotective bf** have entered the chatroom

**junkie trash** anyone got coke?? 

**fuckbuddy 2** i second that, i’m having weird-ass withdrawal symptoms 

**dr seuss** i have a six pack of coke in the fridge!! 

**eminem** oh my god he’s so innocent 

**daddy cheol** HANNIE HOLD ME 

**angelcake** i am holding you dear 

**daddy cheol** HE’S TOO CUTE 

**junkie trash** i’m sorry to say kid but a six pack of coke isn’t gonna cut it 

**junkie trash** i need the hard shit 

**dr seuss** like pepsi?? 

**junkie trash** … 

**junkie trash** you know what 

**junkie trash** never mind 

**fuckbuddy 2** i think i’m having leg spasms or some shit from the withdrawal 

**fuckbuddy 1** bro i can come over  & massage ‘em 

**fuckbuddy 2** bro would you really 

**fuckbuddy 1** anything for you bro 

**fuckbuddy 2** no homo 

**fuckbuddy 1** no homo 

**tyra banks** i wonder how much they’ll say no homo during the course of this group chat 

**weeb trash** probably more times than we can ever fathom 

**fuck this why am i here** is there anyone straight here 

**eminem** nope 

**daddy cheol** nope 

**tyra banks** nope 

**fuckbuddy 1** nope 

**fuckbuddy 2** nope 

**angelcake** nope 

**weeb trash** nope 

**junhigh** nope 

**overprotective bf** nope 

**junkie trash** nope 

**fuck this why am i here** sick me neither 

**dr seuss** i don’t really know my sexual orientation… 

**daddy cheol** & that is perfectly fine sweetheart 

**daddy cheol** sexual orientation is for grown ups 

**tyra banks** seungcheol wtf like none of us are overage except for you and jeonghan 

**angelcake** wait are you shitting me 

**angelcake** all of you are underaged?? 

**weeb trash** ye sorry you guys are grandpas 

**daddy cheol** has changed his screen name to **grandpa cheol**

**grandpa cheol** has changed **angelcake’s** screen name to **grandma hannie**

**junkie trash** if u guys are the grandparents who are the parents 

**eminem** they are both simultaneously the grandparents /and/ parents 

**tyra banks** bb how does that even work 

**junhigh** imagine giving birth 

**junhigh** to yourself 

**fuckbuddy 1** i could make out w myself 

**weeb trash** jfc 

**fuckbuddy 2** bro we could have a threesome w the both of you 

**fuckbuddy 1** bro that’s a great idea how do i get pregnant w myself 

**fuck this why am i here** … 

**eminem** seokmin i think there’s a lot wrong w that 

**junhigh** u guys just aren’t believers in the Supernatural 

**weeb trash** i hate everything that is going on here 

**fuck this why am i here** ^^ 

**nonbeliever** has entered the chatroom

**nonbeliever** Good morning. 

**eminem** gm jisoo what’s good 

**junhigh** food is good 

**junkie trash** i agree 

**nonbeliever** What does ‘what’s good’ mean? I am unaware of that terminology. 

**tyra banks** cheol are u sure ur the grandpa bc i’m p sure the real grandpa is jisoo here 

**grandpa cheol** u right 

**grandpa cheol** has changed **nonbeliever’s** screen name to **all-knowing grandfather**

**all-knowing grandfather** I am not all-knowing, only God is. 

**eminem** jfc here we go 

**all-knowing grandfather** Hansol, from my knowledge of teenage acronyms, ‘jfc’ means ‘Jesus fucking Christ’. You should not say this. 

**eminem** h e r e w e g o 

**weeb trash** u know i bet this guy is a real joy to be around at parties 

**junhigh** don’t blame him, man. he’s just following god’s commandment. 

**weeb trash** what the hell do you know abt god’s commandment junhigh 

**junhigh** more than u would think ming-y 

**weeb trash** … 

**dr seuss** so!! is everyone going to church on sunday? the choir is performing!! 

**grandpa cheol** count me  & hannie in we need to see our baby 

**grandma hannie** cheol i was supposed to go get my hair done on sunday 

**grandpa cheol** /count me  & hannie in we need to see our baby/ 

**junkie trash** tbh i want to see hansol perform 

**overprotective bf** me fuckin too man it’s gonna be gr8 

**eminem** u guys are mean 

**tyra banks** what about me?? i’m part of the choir too 

**overprotective bf** we all know ur the next beyoncé boo 

**tyra banks** tru 

**fuckbuddy 1** bro do we got any plans on sunday 

**fuckbuddy 2** bro we were supposed to go to that sick house party 

**dr seuss** aren’t parties usually in the evening?? church is in the morning!! 

**fuckbuddy 1** no u don’t understand kid 

**fuckbuddy 1** this is the Ultimate House Party 

**fuckbuddy 1** starts at midnight and goes ’till midnight 

**fuckbuddy 1** it’s gonna be lit 

**fuck this why am i here** that really doesn’t sound healthy. 

**fuckbuddy 1** who cares abt health when i got my bro w me  & a twelve-pack of beer 

**fuckbuddy 2** bro i can’t believe u would put me in the same sentence as beer 

**fuckbuddy 1** bro i love u 

**fuckbuddy 2** bro i love u too but no homo 

**fuckbuddy 1** no homo 

**eminem** ANYWAY 

**eminem** so who’s all coming to the church on sunday? 

**grandpa cheol** me 

**grandma hannie** me too 

**overprotective bf** me 

**junkie trash** me 

**fuck this why am i here** i’ll probably be nursing a killer hangover so maybe not. 

**fuck this why am i here** also i’m really not interested in church choirs. 

**eminem** you know what? 

**eminem** fuck u too 

**tyra banks** i’ll be there .. obviously 

**dr seuss** and i’ll be there too!! 

**all-knowing grandfather** I will be there too, seeing as I am you guys’ leader. 

**eminem** ming-y, jun, u guys coming?? 

**junhigh** i mean … i could be getting stoned then 

**weeb trash** we’re coming 

**eminem** sick 

**eminem** see ya assholes then 


End file.
